Your spouse has no desire to get divorced. You, however, feel like it’s just time to move on. The marriage stopped working a long time ago. Maybe they think it’s fine. Maybe they think you can fix it, and you don’t. Regardless, the two of you are not on the same page, so you know this is going to be a difficult conversation to have.
When you finally do ask for the divorce, it’s important to keep being respectful. Understand that they may be shocked, angry or sad. Don’t “attack” them with the news. Try to be compassionate, explain yourself, tell them your reasoning and be as kind as you can be.
Remember that this is probably harder for them than it is for you. You have been thinking about it for a while. You have already worked your way through it emotionally and mentally. They have not. It’s new for them. They still have to do all of that processing, and it takes time.
Why do you want to be respectful? Aren’t you ending the relationship anyway? You are, but that respect can still make things go smoothly. It can make the court case faster and easier. It can reduce the odds of a difficult and costly dispute. Respect goes a long way, even when you know that your romantic relationship is over.
Now, even being respectful doesn’t mean this conversation will be easy. It doesn’t guarantee that the process won’t get complicated. Be sure you understand all of your legal rights and the options you have at your disposal.